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Michael Frier

Michael Frier died at age 32 while seeking medical care in the San Francisco Bay Area, just as he was formulating his own ambitious goals for improving the health system.
Michael was an accomplished nurse, with ambitions for overhauling the mental health system to be more compassionate and personalized. He was also a loving and kind person, and a devoted son, brother and uncle. He persevered through many of life’s difficulties – including his dangerous premature birth in Los Angeles – to become a beacon of positive energy with a strong drive to help others, and a special appreciation for all things food, music, nature and fun.
As a toddler, after a severe fall from a swing, he sang show tunes in the emergency room while receiving multiple head stitches. As a young child, he reveled in getting covered head to toe in mud on a family hike. Starting around 8 years old, he would regularly remark that whatever he was eating was “the best food I’ve had in 16 years.” He loved parties and live music, but was rarely discouraged by being alone. He could find peace in the woods with a guitar; as an adult, he took up running. He always sang in the shower. A handwritten note in his bedroom reads: “Dance like no one is watching.”
Michael could dream big. He was easily inspired to learn and do more with his life, and often meditated on what his higher purpose should be, and how best to achieve it – always coming back to the theme of helping enact positive change. Healthcare and teaching were consistent passions. But after a peaceful afternoon playing an instrument with new friends at a park, or collaborating on an electronic composition with his brother, he would sometimes discuss taking a break to be a musician or music therapist. He dabbled in photography, yoga, Buddhism, bible studies and more.
He was at home in a classroom or with a textbook, disciplined in expanding his understanding of science and the arts, and would ponder what he learned during walks on the beach or on the Bay Area’s many hiking trails. He also sought out mentorship and deep conversations with colleagues, and even his students and patients.
Michael graduated from Mountain View High School in 2011 and received a Bachelor of Arts in public health from the University of California, Berkeley in 2016. During the Covid-19 pandemic, in January 2021, he graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Ursuline College and started working in hospitals. He was in the process of becoming a Doctor of Nursing Practice at the University of California, San Francisco, while also working as a nurse at Kaiser Permanente Santa Clara Behavioral Health Center.
Michael could have been deterred by his mental health struggles. Instead, he was motivated to help others with similar problems, and work on systemic reform. His final paper at UCSF explored how mental health care could be so much more preventative, focused on the entire context of a person’s life, beyond or in addition to pharmaceutical intervention. He believed in helping people achieve their goals through understanding of nutrition, exercise, nature, meditation, community and music.
Recently, Michael accepted an adjunct position at San Jose State University teaching behavioral health nursing, hoping he could help instill a passion for compassionate care. He had also started working as a lifestyle coach. He was trained in Rogerian peer counseling, focused on unconditional positive regard. He had a knack for taking a dinner conversation in a deeply philosophical direction within seconds, and was planning to write publicly about his insights.
Still, he didn’t take himself too seriously. Michael was a devoted uncle to his four small nephews, directing them in spontaneous racing across fields, jumping on furniture, loud singing, and general silliness. His dinosaur and monkey impressions will be particularly remembered. The week before his death, Michael celebrated his 32nd birthday with his family. When asked what he wanted as a gift, he asked for more time with the kids. He is survived by his parents, Laura Casas and Ken Frier, and his siblings, James Frier and Sarah Frier.
Family and friends of Michael are invited to attend a funeral service on Feb. 22 at St. Nicholas Catholic Church in Los Altos, beginning at 11:30 a.m. In lieu of flowers, please consider sending a donation to the Michael Frier Behavioral Nursing Scholarship Fund at UCSF, to help train others who can lead change with compassion, one patient at a time.